to all the single moms, I know it’s not all rainbows and sunshine

There’s THAT kind of mom, dragging her kid on one of those leashes, doing nothing at all to stop her kid screaming at Walmart or a restaurant. I used to be one of those people, silently judging that mom on an airplane or in the mall. I was rolling my eyes, wondering why she couldn’t just make them shut up already. But now I know it’s not that she doesn’t care, it’s just so typical. Just another day in the throes of motherhood.

Without getting into the heartbreaking details…nothing really prepared me for single motherhood. Even though I was doing all the emotional labor of child rearing when I had a “supportive” partner, nothing prepared me for the tears that came when he left us, or the overwhelming love I get to feel now as all my own everyday. It’s disheartening when there’s no one to tell about that first step or funny food face, but the smiles and sparkly eyes I get at school events and holidays is my reason for everything. So thankful God made this path so hard for us for awhile. The rewards have been sweeter than ever and the family that continues to grow around us is magical.

I walk by those messy moms in the grocery store now and share a look, hopefully to let her know I understand. I applaud her for being able to stay calm and breathe easy, to tune out her kids and speed-shop for dinner that week.

It’s important to realize that those moms you see alone with their kids aren’t just moms. They’re whole women with hopes and dreams and whole amazing futures full of art and success. But you don’t see them as that, they don’t see themselves as that, and the whole world has shut them out and forgotten how much they do to anchor the future of the world.

Even if your most important role in life is mommy, I still need you know you’re so much more than that. Strong women like us shape the future, don’t forget that.

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